Logan Ury says you’re dating badly

In May, she led Propel, a week-long, app-only “boot camp” for 128 people that cost $480 per person, and she’s preparing to launch another larger and longer dating class. in autumn. Sometimes she makes faster shots; in 2021, she offered one-on-one 90-minute “decision-making conversations.” People called her asking if they should come up with, if a boyfriend’s libido would ever return, if there was an acceptable way to end a relationship over a boyfriend’s mental health issues. partner. She also does pro bono coaching, usually on a weekly basis.

Kimberly Baudhuin, 26, who quit a consulting job at Bain to become Ms Ury’s full-time assistant, said in a telephone interview that before she met Ms Ury she felt frustrated with the swarm of podcasters and influencers and TikTokers claiming to hold the secret to modern dating. With Ms. Ury, she said: “It’s tactical. It’s step by step. »

Ms. Ury told me about a client who had a deluge of first dates without getting to a second date. His sense of humor didn’t show in the women he dated, so she helped him repeat a story about the summer he spent in college working at a hot dog truck. . “It’s not like I tell him to lie about his height, lie about his age,” she said.

She constantly references her gift for “pattern recognition”, the ability to see and synthesize the ruts in someone’s dating history. To that end, she asks her clients to complete “relationship audits”, detailing who they dated, how they met each person and why their relationships ended, for Ms Ury to assess. A 35-year-old woman who took Ms Ury’s course last year said the exercise took her six hours. Ms Ury’s comments highlighted that she tends to date people with “big personalities”.

“I don’t present myself as a guru,” Ms Ury said. “I tell people: I’m going to create a system that will help you solve your blind spots and change your decisions.”

We’d talked to the Blueberry, a purple building that houses Radish’s kitchen, and Mrs. Ury was getting irritated. We took a walk; she took me on a loop through Oakland streets dotted with Harvest Sharing signs, while cradling a mug of black coffee emblazoned with the words “INTENTIONALLY FOREVER.” Its Crocs spat out small squelching noises against the pavement.

I asked her if she was surprised by her clients’ efforts to shape their stories and jokes, their jobs, their childhoods and their exes, into mouth-watering packages. She laughed.

“Dating is an acute problem,” she said. “If you’re single and want to find someone, you’ll do a lot to fix it.”

Lance B. Holton